NSOing – How to support your league off skates

By Captain Malice

Non-skating Official

non-skating official [non-skeyt-ing uh-fish-uhl]

noun

1. To officiate without wearing roller skates.

I love this sport. Consider me well and truly bitten by the derby bug - any excuse to be around it, I’ll take. I’ve been training for around nine months, delayed by work, weather and injury. For most of that time I have been pre-minimum skills. We needed people to help out with NSOing at scrimmage, so the lovely Minx Subordination taught me how to NSO allowing me to spend time watching and learning whilst supporting my league. When I was asked to help out with NSOing a bout, I thought, ’Sure, why not? I get track-side seats and get to help out.’

My first bout, working under El Toupee, saw me penalty timing for the inaugural bout of the team I’d been training with. I’ll be honest, I broke the cardinal rule and I cheered… three times. El Toupee gave me the disapproving look each time, I don’t recommend it. But other than breaking the cardinal rule of officiating, I did a good job. The players and refs went for their victory high fives and that was it. I stood there, trying to remember if the NSO’s get high fives and no one moved. Minx was in charge, she didn’t go for high fives and she asked us to tidy up, and then off to the pub it was!

Nursing many a beer that evening I couldn’t help but think that I’d earned a high five; refs and skaters get their high fives and NSOs are just as needed. Couldn’t help but feel a little sad. However, my next NSO job was at Hot Wheel and they let me. I ran that track, took my high fives with pride. I felt better about things, but to date that’s the only bout where the NSO’s have been encouraged to run a lap of high fives. NSOing isn’t a thankless task; we’re always appreciated by the refs and the players, but NSO’s need high fives too. (Editor: There's got to be a t-shirt in this somewhere...)

I’ve learnt more about the game of roller derby from NSOing than watching countless videos online. Now I’ve passed my minimum skills I won’t be able to NSO at as many bouts. I’ll never hang up my NSO shirt, but my derby life is moving towards playing in bouts with perhaps even some bench managing down the line. In addition, I will shortly be making my announcing debut in Liverpool for our awesome Phoenix Furies bout against Liverpool Roller Chicks! I’m fine with it now, but I know the same nerves I had on the way to my first training session and my first scrimmage will kick in on the drive over on the 7th July and I’ll be fine the moment I start, same as I always am.

With every new intake we have at MRD I’ll always recommend that our newer skaters take up an NSO role (at least at scrimmage but also at a bout if they can) and I’ll continue to do so to every new skater I meet. Helping the league to put on a bout might not seem like much, but the advantages for new skaters are well worth the time invested - they get to see a whole new side to the game. You won’t be in the programme, your name won’t be cheered - if you do your job perfectly, no one will give you a second thought - but without NSOs, bouts don’t happen. A better understanding of the game is there for the taking and the comfort and knowledge that you are helping your league. So go out and NSO, you never know, you might get a high five out of it. ;)

Captain Malice and the lovely Esjay NSOing

(image copyright Shirlaine Forrest)

- Captain Malice

Derby Baby

I used to have a pair of those metal skates that I tied over my shoes when I was a kid in the seventies, rackety, useless things with hard wheels that juddered over every bump. Then when I was thirteen my birthday present was an amazing pair of blue and red roller boots. I skated with my mates up and down Lancashire terraced streets, and then after a year I stopped. My roller boots went to a jumble sale, and I never imagined that at thirty eight, I might be wanting another pair of skates.

A friend (Abby Dasher) asked me to come along to her first Zero to Hero session at MRD a year ago. I sat at the side of the rink, feeling too nervous to join in. To be honest, I thought NO WAY could I ever do that. Everyone looked tough and confident (and hot), even the beginners. They all seemed to be fearless skaters, not wavering when they were told to fall on both knees, or skid across the floor. And so comfortable in hot pants and crazy tights. I thought, WOW, I love it. But figured this was no place for me, with all these gutsy, sexy, confident women. Leave the building, I thought. Go home and write a poem, read a book, watch TV.

Abby went skating week after week, and kept saying COME, YOU WILL LOVE IT! I listened to her stories, saw her photos, admired her growing confidence. But still felt I was the wrong kind of girl for derby. Always the last to be picked for teams at school. Not a sporty girl, or competitive, in fact a bit of a wimp to be honest. Why would I want to bash into other people? And more importantly why would I let other people bash into me? And what if I fell...?

Yet, here I am. Searching on the internet for my first pair of derby skates, debating whether to get Anarchy pads or invest in some more expensive pads, and what kind of wheels do I want? I have a bruise on one side of my bum. It's the size of an apple. And on the other side, I have a set of bruises that look like stairs. I have sore shoulders from blocking in training, and my shins hurt.

I only signed up for the Zero to Hero training session, because Abby Dasher kept pestering me in a lovely way to DO IT, DO IT. I resigned myself to it. I sighed, and worked out that if I just tried it once, I would be able to say, no roller derby is NOT for me.

Only, there was something about that first session, all lined up along the wall with Tori Bee whizzing round us, telling us you can do it, You're all amazing... praising our awkward one knee falls and our nervous skating. And the others in the group, all looked to me from a distance like the most confident, gutsy women (and men) in the world, and even up close, they seemed tough and up-for-it, but when we got talking I found out most of them were nervous as well, a bit jittery or unfit, new to skating, or maybe scared of falling. We laughed when we got it wrong and tried again, and everyone encouraged everyone. And actually it was surprising that I enjoyed it so much.

So, I kept turning up. Me. In hot pants. Never thought I would see the day. In skates at nearly forty. Never thought I would love anything remotely like a baseball slide, or that I would laugh so much one session giving and receiving shoulder blocks while racing around the rink with Sledge Hannah, or that I might feel so proud of myself for improving my laps, moving from a first effort of 16 laps in five minutes to this week's 22 laps.

I'm not quite a Hero. I still have a lot of work to do and practice. I don't push myself as hard as some people. Yes, I want to graduate from Zero to Hero and get the chance to join MRD's new training team, the Rookie Monsters. I want to learn more about roller derby and how to play and maybe, perhaps if I psyche myself up for it play in a bout one day. But I have more personal reasons for coming to roller derby. This is why I keep coming...

... because, for many years, probably since school, I avoided team games and anything competitive because I was always one of the least strong, fast or capable. I was always seen by others as not being good enough to be in a team, or letting down a team that had to choose me. And now, I have the opportunity to take my time to be good, learn at my own pace and in my own way, without feeling as if other people think I'm crap or that I'm letting anyone else down.

I still have those little doubts sometimes that maybe everyone has about themselves, but I feel so much more confident... at everything, because I'm trying things I thought I was too scared and soft to do. I still don't like falling over, but I'm learning to pick myself up and carry on. I feel proud of my bruises sometimes, because they are a sign that I'm more confident and gutsy than I imagined. I feel more assertive but less angry. I throw a bit of the weeks frustration into a shoulder block and I get praised for doing it. I can see myself very slowly improving so that maybe next week, I might get 23 laps, or my laterals might get tighter and faster, and I might fall over and laugh.

It's hard to explain how important this is. I guess people have many reasons for starting roller derby. I started by accident, through persuasion, not really understanding the game or what I might benefit from it. I wasn't looking for it to change my life, but it already has because I've realised I'm tougher than I thought.

Sometimes the hardest fight is with yourself

Roller derby is a sport that prides itself on being accessible to all. No matter what age you are and what size you are you can learn to skate and kick ass with a team you love and who accepts you for who and what you are. This is one of the appeals of roller derby for me.

Why else does derby appeal to me? No expectations, the support of fellow skaters and knowing that I am part of a strong team, both physically & mentally. All of these aspects of derby are what make this sport one that works for me, and I take that motivation with me both on and off the track.

I want to talk to you a little about a side to these men and women that isn't always seen. We turn up to a practice, scrimmage or a bout with a smile and are seen to be brimming with confidence. However humans are complex machines and this outside image may be hiding a great deal underneath.

18 months ago I was diagnosed with a long-term condition called Pernicious Anaemia. The effects of this can include fatigue, low blood pressure, rapid heart rate, neuropathic pain and nerve damage. It took me ages to get diagnosed. I wasn’t eating properly and lost an unhealthy amount of weight. I actually didn’t realise I was ill.

Copyright Shirlaine Forrest

It wasn’t until I nearly collapsed at work that I got the wake-up call that something was wrong. I had a month off sick and many blood tests later I was given my diagnosis. I was relieved that I knew what was wrong and now I need B12 injections every couple of months for life. I made an effort to gain weight/eat better and now have a bigger and healthier body to block you all with! Looking back at bout pictures from before I knew I was ill I'm honestly surprised I managed to play a full-length bout. I should have listened to my body and taken care of myself when I really needed to.

Some of the best skaters I know have “hidden” illnesses that they fight in their own way every week of their lives. Depression, chronic fatigue, diabetes and heart conditions are all conditions that aren't always obvious from the outside but affect every day living. They can make it a constant struggle to function normally and to continue with a normal life, which many take for granted.

What I am trying to say is, sometimes all is not what is seems. Roller derby does attract athletic individuals who appear to take naturally to everything they do, but many of us are not natural born athletes. We train hard, get back up when we get knocked down and strive to be harder, better, faster and stronger!

I have a lot to thank both roller derby and my team, Manchester Roller Derby, for. I have learnt that I can do it. From the non-skater I was a few years ago, I have become a valuable and credible member of my team. I have more determination and so much more confidence than I used to have. I know that I can push myself to be better and it will pay off. It may take me longer than some to achieve my goals but I am not going to give up!

Stay strong and true to yourself, listen to your body and stay positive - the rewards are there for the taking.

"Never give up! Failure and rejection are only the first step to succeeding"

Copyright Shirlaine Forrest